Woran du erkennst dass deine Katze deinen Tod plant

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 9783527507412
Release Date: 2013
Genre: Cats

Eine Katze hält sich für einen Puma und ihr Miauen für furchteinflößendes Brüllen. Sie übt im Katzenklo das Verscharren von Leichen. Wenn sie gähnt, ist sie nicht müde - sie zeigt Ihnen ihr Killergesicht. "Woran du erkennst, dass deine Katze deinen Tod plant" enthüllt in skurrilen Comics die wahre Natur der gemeinen Hauskatze. Zu Papier gebracht hat sie der Meister des entlarvenden Humors The Oatmeal - herausgekommen ist eine urkomische und geistreiche Comicsammlung, die uns darüber aufklärt, was Katzen wirklich wollen: die Weltherrschaft (und natürlich am Bauch gekrault werden). Wenn deine Katze auf dir sitzt und trampelt, ist das kein Zuneigungsbeweis. Sie überprüft deine inneren Organe auf Schwachstellen. Wenn deine Katze dir einen toten Vogel bringt, ist das kein Geschenk, sondern eine Warnung. "Woran du erkennst, dass deine Katze deinen Tod plant" ist eine urkomische und geistvolle Sammlung von Katzen-Comics, Fakten und Handlungsempfehlungen aus dem kreativen Wunderland von The Oatmeal.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449410490
Release Date: 2012-10-09
Genre: Humor

Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

Author: The Oatmeal Staff
Publisher:
ISBN: 1449417051
Release Date: 2012-07-15
Genre:

The Oatmeal 2013 Wall Calendar • The Oatmeal is one of the most popular Web comics online, getting an average of 4.6 million unique visitorsand more than 20 million page views a month. • Time magazine named TheOatmeal.com one of the best blogs of 2010. Based on Matthew Inman's hugely popular Web site and hisNew York Timesbest-selling book5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth,How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You 2013 Wall Calendarfeatures a quirky and humorous full-color comic each month along with a user-friendly grid. As a bonus, the calendar also includes a free, pull-out poster.

Texts from Mittens

Author: Angie Bailey
Publisher: Harlequin
ISBN: 9781460380802
Release Date: 2015-04-01
Genre: Humor

Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. "Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

Salt Water

Author: Charles Simmons
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 9781452123561
Release Date: 2012-10-12
Genre: Fiction

In the summer of 1963 I fell in love and my father drowned.... So begins this sweet, ominous novel by Charles Simmons. Set against an idyllic landscape of water, sand, and sky, it recounts in exquisite detail the momentous events of a boy's 16th summer that reveal to him the dark facts of adult passion. On Bone Point, an island off the New England coast, the boy's long, lazy days of boating and swimming are sharpened by a growing awareness of his charismatic father's infidelities. Add to this the presence of a flirtatious middle-aged woman and her beautiful 20-year-old daughter, who have rented the guesthouse, and the tale is set in motion. This tautly constructed novel is both startling and haunting—an irresistible story of memory, desire, and suspense.

Hector and the Search for Happiness

Author: Francois Lelord
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101458984
Release Date: 2010-08-31
Genre: Fiction

Now a major motion picture starring Simon Pegg, Rosamund Pike, Toni Collette, and Christopher Plummer The international bestseller with more than two million copies sold “Once upon a time there was a young psychiatrist called Hector who was not very satisfied with himself. . . . And so he decided to take a trip around the world, and everywhere he went he would try to understand what made people happy or unhappy.” Hector travels from Paris to China to Africa to the United States, and along the way he keeps a list of observations about the people he meets. Combining the winsome appeal of The Little Prince with the inspiring philosophy of The Alchemist, Hector’s journey around the world and into the human soul is entertaining, empowering, and smile-inducing—as winning in its optimism as it is wise in its simplicity.

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth And Other Useful Guides

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449406750
Release Date: 2010-10-01
Genre: Humor

In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

The Cat Owner s Manual

Author: David Brunner
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1931686874
Release Date: 2004
Genre: Pets

For every cat owner who suffers scratch marks on furniture, stray hairs on clothes and gifts of dead mice, The Cat Owner's Manual delivers loads of useful advice from a celebrated veterinarian. With the same fresh and funny approach as the mega-popular Baby Owner's Manual, this book explains in tongue-in-cheek technical style how to train, feed, groom and troubleshoot a cat. Hilarious illustrations and chapter titles like "Overview of Makes and Models" and "Interior Maintenance" make this manual a standard reference for all female and male cat owners.

Pearls Hogs the Road

Author: Stephan Pastis
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449487317
Release Date: 2017-04-25
Genre: Comics & Graphic Novels

The Pearls gang returns with characteristically misanthropic humor (but with more leather): no self-aggrandizing is too flagrant for Rat, no subject is too erudite for Goat, and no sensory input is too basic for Pig. All topics are fair game for Stephan Pastis and his brass-knuckle punch lines. Comic strip censors, apathetic baristas, and IRS employees are all strongly advised to laugh or get out of the way. Pearls Hogs the Road also features three comic strips illustrated by the legendary Bill Watterson of Calvin and Hobbes, who ended a 19-year hiatus from the comics page to collaborate with Pastis.

My Dog The Paradox

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449437718
Release Date: 2013-05-07
Genre: Humor

This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449461416
Release Date: 2014-09-30
Genre: Humor

This is not just a book about running. It's a book about cupcakes. It's a book about suffering. It's a book about gluttony, vanity, bliss, electrical storms, ranch dressing, and Godzilla. It's a book about all the terrible and wonderful reasons we wake up each day and propel our bodies through rain, shine, heaven, and hell. From #1 New York Times best-selling author, Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal, comes this hilarious, beautiful, poignant collection of comics and stories about running, eating, and one cartoonist's reasons for jogging across mountains until his toenails fall off. Containing over 70 pages of never-before-seen material, including "A Lazy Cartoonist's Guide to Becoming a Runner" and "The Blerch's Guide to Dieting," this book also comes with Blerch race stickers.

How to Be Perfectly Unhappy

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449488598
Release Date: 2017-10-31
Genre: Humor

In How To Be Perfectly Unhappy, Inman explores the surprising benefits of forgetting about “happiness,” and embracing instead the meaningful activities that keep us busy and interested and fascinated.

Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449431785
Release Date: 2013-10-01
Genre: Humor

Matthew Inman’s first collection of The Oatmeal.com spent six weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and sold 200,000 copies. This pivotal and influential comic collection titled 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth introduced Samurai sword-wielding kittens and informed us on how to tell if a velociraptor is having pre-marital sex. Matthew's cat-themed collection How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a #1 New York Times bestseller with more than half a million copies in print. Now with Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants, Inman offers a delicious, tantalizing follow-up featuring all new material that has been posted on the site since the publication of the first book plus never-before-seen comics that have not appeared anywhere. As with every Oatmeal collection, there is a pull-out poster at the back of the book. In this second collection of over 50 comics, you'll be treated to the hilarity of "The Crap We Put Up with Getting On and Off an Airplane," "Why Captain Higgins Is My Favorite Parasitic Flatworm," "This Is How I Feel about Buying Apps," "6 Things You Really Don't Need to Take a Photo of," and much more. Along with lambasting the latest culture crazes, Inman serves up recurrent themes such as foodstuffs, holidays, e-mail, as well as technological, news-of-the-day, and his snarky yet informative comics on grammar and usage. Online and in print, The Oatmeal delivers brilliant, irreverent comic hilarity.

Apathy and Other Small Victories

Author: Paul Neilan
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 9781429907347
Release Date: 2007-04-01
Genre: Fiction

A scathingly funny debut novel about disillusionment, indifference, and one man's desperate fight to assign absolutely no meaning to modern life. The only thing Shane cares about is leaving. Usually on a Greyhound bus, right before his life falls apart again. Just like he planned. But this time it's complicated: there's a sadistic corporate climber who thinks she's his girlfriend, a rent-subsidized affair with his landlord's wife, and the bizarrely appealing deaf assistant to Shane's cosmically unstable dentist. When one of the women is murdered, and Shane is the only suspect who doesn't care enough to act like he didn't do it, the question becomes just how he'll clear the good name he never had and doesn't particularly want: his own. “The malaise of cubicle culture may be well-trodden comedic territory by now, but Neilan's debut skewers office life with a flourish for the grotesque.” —The Village Voice

We Are All Made of Glue

Author: Marina Lewycka
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 9780141921341
Release Date: 2009-07-02
Genre: Fiction

We Are All Made of Glue is the wickedly funny third novel from bestselling author Marina Lewycka. Georgie Sinclair's life is coming unstuck. Her husband's left her. Her son's obsessed with the End of the World. And now her elderly neighbour Mrs Shapiro has decided they are related. Or so the hospital informs her when Mrs Shapiro has an accident and names Georgie next of kin. This, however, is not a case of a quick ward visit: Mrs Shapiro has a large rickety house full of stinky cats that needs looking after and that a pair of estate agents seem intent on swindling from her. Plus there are the 'Uselesses' trying to repair it (uselessly). Then there's social worker who wants to put her in a nursing home. Not to mention some letters that point to a mysterious, painful past. As Georgie tries her best to put Mrs Shapiro's life back together somehow she much stop her own from falling apart. . . 'Vibrant dialogue, a family meltdown, a clash of cultures and a wonderful cast of expertly observed characters. Pure laugh-out-loud social comedy' Daily Mail 'Excellent, irresistible' Scotland on Sunday 'Hilarious. A big-hearted confection of the comic and the poignant' Literary Review 'A big, bustling novel, told with enthusiasm by a narrator who is warm, winningly disaster-prone and, crucially, believable' Spectator Bestselling author Marina Lewkyca has received great critical acclaim since the publication of her hilarious first novel A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian in 2005, which was the winner of the Bollinger Everyman Prize for Comic Fiction 2005, winner of the Saga Award for Wit 2005, shortlisted for the Orange Prize for Fiction 2005 and longlisted for the Booker prize 2005. Her other humorous novels Two Caravans (published as Strawberry Fields in the USA and Canada) and Various Pets Alive and Dead are also available from Penguin.