As Elyce Wakerman found in the scores of interviews she conducted, the loss of a father— through death, divorce, or abandonment—is the event that shapes a girl’s life and all her future relationships. “In my fantasy,” one woman commented, “he remains the perfect, all-giving man”—a difficult role for any other man to fill. Based partly on the author’s experience, partly on her in-depth interviews, and partly on a questionnaire she developed with psychologist Holly Barrett to which almost six hundred women responded, Father Loss provides the clearest portrait yet of a very special group of women. As a group, they express their insecurities (“Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to love a man totally . . . because that would mean I didn’t love my father anymore.” —Leslie). Yet individually, many have become outstanding achievers, including Eleanor Roosevelt (“He dominated my life as long as he lived and was the love of my life for years after he died.”), Helen Gurney Brown (“People in business, my bosses, I look to them all as fathers.”), Barbara Streisand, Gloria Steinem, Geraldine Ferraro and many others. A bestseller when it was first published twenty-five years ago and now updated and revised, Father Loss gives information and insight to fatherless daughters, to widows and divorcees with daughters, and to every father who needs to understand the vital role he plays in his daughter’s life—as the first man she ever loves.
Author: Harold Ivan Smith
Publisher: Augsburg Books
Release Date: 1994-01-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
Smith has combined personal stories from Frederick Buechner, Norman Vincent Peale, Corrie ten Boom, James Dobson, and many other well-known people to help others through their grieving process in dealing with the new reality of a deceased father.
“This groundbreaking work will give voice to an enormous population of women who are struggling to understand themselves in the face of their fathers’ absence.” —Claire Bidwell Smith, author of The Rules of Inheritance and After This When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Smithson couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their loss has impacted their lives. A father is supposed to provide a sense of security and stability. Losing a father comes with particular costs that vary depending on the way he left and how old a girl was when she lost him. Drawing on interviews with over 5000 women who became fatherless due to death, divorce, neglect, and outright abandonment, the authors have found that fatherless daughters tend to push their emotions underground. These issues in turn become distinct patterns in their relationships as adult women and they often can't figure out why. Delivered with compassion and expertise, this book allows readers support and understanding they never had when they first needed it, and it encourages the conversation to continue.
Author: Clara Hinton
Publisher: New Leaf Publishing Group
Release Date: 1998-02-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
Miscarriage has touched almost every home, although it's rarely talked-about. It's the invisible pain.. Even couples who are very close and on sure footing find it too upsetting to discuss. In Silent Grief, author Clara Hinton knows what she's talking about. Experiencing the heartbreak of child loss firsthand, she tackles this universal tragedy by talking with women and men who have dealt with miscarriage. These interviews shed much light on the debilitating effects of child loss, including consuming guilt, depression, and strained marriages. Acknowledging that God is the ultimate healer of hurting families, the author shows through her interviews and personal experiences that there is hope for functioning through child loss. But the goal goes beyond that, to help families be happy again, and look forward to the future.
A pet . . . a friend . . . or a relative dies, and it must be explained to a child. This sensitive book is a useful tool in explaining to children that death is a part of life and that, eventually, all living things reach the end of their own special lifetimes.
Author: Pamela Thomas
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2009-08-18
Genre: Family & Relationships
An affirming reference for daughters who have lost their fathers to death or divorce explores the ways in which being fatherless impacts a developing woman's perspectives on relationships, parenting, and careers while sharing inspirational testimonies by women who have gone through similar journeys of trauma and healing.
Author: Nicholas Sparks
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Release Date: 2011-10-11
IN THEATERS OCTOBER 17, 2014! Starring Michelle Monaghan, James Marsden, Luke Bracey, and Liana Liberator "Everyone wanted to believe that endless love was possible. She'd believed in it once, too, back when she was eighteen." In the spring of 1984, high school students Amanda Collier and Dawson Cole fell deeply, irrevocably in love. Though they were from opposite sides of the tracks, their love for one another seemed to defy the realities of life in the small town of Oriental, North Carolina. But as the summer of their senior year came to a close, unforeseen events would tear the young couple apart, setting them on radically divergent paths. Now, twenty-five years later, Amanda and Dawson are summoned back to Oriental for the funeral of Tuck Hostetler, the mentor who once gave shelter to their high school romance. Neither has lived the life they imagined . . . and neither can forget the passionate first love that forever changed their lives. As Amanda and Dawson carry out the instructions Tuck left behind for them, they realize that everything they thought they knew -- about Tuck, about themselves, and about the dreams they held dear -- was not as it seemed. Forced to confront painful memories, the two former lovers will discover undeniable truths about the choices they have made. And in the course of a single, searing weekend, they will ask of the living, and the dead: Can love truly rewrite the past?
Author: Iris Krasnow
Publisher: Perseus Books Group
Release Date: 2006-04-10
Genre: Social Science
Offering a close-up look at mother-daughter relationships, a journalist draws on her own experience, as well as the wisdom of others, to provide advice and strategies on how to overcome the guilt, resentment, and anger that can destroy a family.
In Being Mortal, bestselling author Atul Gawande tackles the hardest challenge of his profession: how medicine can not only improve life but also the process of its ending Medicine has triumphed in modern times, transforming birth, injury, and infectious disease from harrowing to manageable. But in the inevitable condition of aging and death, the goals of medicine seem too frequently to run counter to the interest of the human spirit. Nursing homes, preoccupied with safety, pin patients into railed beds and wheelchairs. Hospitals isolate the dying, checking for vital signs long after the goals of cure have become moot. Doctors, committed to extending life, continue to carry out devastating procedures that in the end extend suffering. Gawande, a practicing surgeon, addresses his profession's ultimate limitation, arguing that quality of life is the desired goal for patients and families. Gawande offers examples of freer, more socially fulfilling models for assisting the infirm and dependent elderly, and he explores the varieties of hospice care to demonstrate that a person's last weeks or months may be rich and dignified. Full of eye-opening research and riveting storytelling, Being Mortal asserts that medicine can comfort and enhance our experience even to the end, providing not only a good life but also a good end.
Practical supportive advice for bereaved parents and the professionals who work with them, based on the experiences of psychiatric and religious counselors. FROM THE INTRODUCTION: “Certainly, in the early days after our son died, no one could have patted us on the our heads and convinced us everything would be all right. Nor will this book do that for you. It will, with the help of parents who have successfully coped and professional people who work with bereavement, offer guidelines and practical step-by-step suggestions to aid you.”
Author: Ann K. Finkbeiner
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2012-12-11
For a parent, losing a child is the most devastating event that can occur. Most books on the subject focus on grieving and recovery, but as most parents agree, there is no recovery from such a loss. This book examines the continued love parents feel for their child and the many poignant and ingenious ways they devise to preserve the bond. Through detailed profiles of parents, Ann Finkbeiner shows how new activities and changed relationships with their spouse, friends, and other children can all help parents preserve a bond with the lost child. Based on extensive interviews and grief research, Finkbeiner explains how parents have changed five to twenty-five years after the deaths of their children. The first half of the book discusses the short- and long-term effects of the child’s death on the parent’s relationships with the outside world, that is, with their spouses, other children, friends, and relatives. The second half of the book details the effect on the parents’ internal world: their continuing sense of guilt; their need to place the death in some larger context and their inability sometimes to consistently do so; their new set of priorities; the nature of their bond with the lost child and the subtle and creative ways they have of continuing that bond. Finkbeiner’s central point is not so much how parents grieve for their children, but how they love them. Refusing to fall back on pop jargon about “recovery” or to offer easy solutions or standardized timelines, Finkbeiner’s is a genuine and moving search to come to terms with loss. Her complex profiles of parents resonate with the honesty and authenticity of uncomfortable emotions expressed and, most importantly, shared with others experiencing a similar loss. Finally, each profile exemplifies the many heroic ways parents learn to live with their pain, and by so doing, honor the lives their children should have lived.